Moving to a New School

By Kevin McCarthy

Moving is a demanding and stressful experience that can pose unique pressures on family life. While your head throbs from juggling the particulars, consider for a moment what might be running through the minds of the younger set. While one child is excited over an anticipated move, another requires assistance to understand what is happening around them: new home, new school, new friends, and new neighbourhood.

According to the Psychology Foundation of Canada (www.kidshavestresstoo.org), children lack the life experience that adults have to fall back on. So they have few strategies to help them cope when they feel stressed out. Regardless of age or developmental stage, each child will have a unique reaction to moving. Thoughtful planning and support will help your child navigate the transition.

You know your child best, so identify ways in which the child can be part of planning a move. Resist the urge to protect your child with half-truths or ambiguous information; anxiety can rise when a child sees what they were told is different from what is actually happening. Answer their questions. Accept and discuss their positive and negative reactions. This is a time to let a child know that they will not be rejected because of their fears, but will be assured by their parent's responsive love.

Tips for preparing a young child for the move:

Be attentive to your child's developmental capacity when discussing the move.

Keep explanations clear and simple.

Incorporate the theme of moving into play and storytimes.

Answer the questions asked, remembering that a child's question can pop up days after the initial conversation.

Allow age appropriate participation where going house hunting, choosing their room, exploring the neighbourhood for playgrounds and grocery stores.

Make sure the child knows that packing items in boxes and bags does not mean things are being thrown out. For comfort, let favourite toys remain with the child.

If possible, visit the new home as a way of making the place concrete and real, rather than a distant abstraction.

Children model their parents, so be aware of your temperament.

Whether moving means starting fresh in September, or a mid-year start, changing schools is something we all recognize as being stressful. Your child is likely to need extra time and support.

In the beginning, your child will need time to adjust to the new home or new school. Moving may be the most challenging experience of your child's life. Anticipate these challenges and empathize with your child; this will encourage a positive outlook as the family embarks on exciting new changes.