A millennial sounds off on the pros and cons of living with her partner

For our Love theme this month, I chatted with millennials who have recently moved in with their partners. Together, we discussed the inspiration behind their big step and the challenges that arose after the moving truck pulled away.

Living single in the GTA can be pricey, but shacking up with your significant other has its own set of challenges, from merging finances to compromising on decor. And what if your partner snores?

One of my personal misgivings about living with my partner is potentially not being able to retreat to my own space during disagreements. As rents soar and wages remain stagnant, many millennials find themselves grappling with this issue in bachelor and studio spaces, where privacy is scarce.

With these challenges in mind, I chatted with Lisa Kenny (name changed for privacy), a recent University of Toronto grad pursuing a career in law, about her experience transitioning from living alone to living with her longtime love.

Newinhomes.com (NIH): What inspired you and your partner to take the big step of moving in together?

Lisa Kenny (LK): When I met my significant other, I was already living by myself. I actually met him the first day I moved out. From that point on, even though I was living on my own, he was always there. So we already got over the living together stage very early in our relationship. It’s like that giant step was taken initially, even if we didn’t know we were taking it.

What inspired us to officially move in together was that we were at a point in our lives where we wanted to be the ones to create the vibe of our environment. We wanted a space where we control the vibe and our daily routine. We wanted to move somewhere that was more positive, more forward, more progressive. So we decided to do that together.

NIH: Was there anything that you were nervous about beforehand?

LK: Yes, I was definitely nervous about having to rely on my partner. I’m fiercely independent so having to rely on my significant other to carry us for a little bit was very hard, but I’m definitely grateful because it allowed me to grow.

It’s not a position that I was ever used to, but that’s what it’s all about, right? You really just need to trust the person you’re with to have your back no matter what.

NIH: Have you two run into any challenges since moving in?

LK: Yeah! Like, when can I go to the bathroom? My partner is always around! We live in a condo so it’s not like I can run away or go to the fourth bathroom in the east wing, you know? That’s been a challenge, but I have a few tricks to drown out the noise. I either need to find the perfect timing or find a trick. But I’m sure everyone will find their trick. It will come to you.

NIH: How did you incorporate both of your styles into your space?

LK: My significant other is pretty easy going so it’s really more of my style. But our styles are quite similar. Perhaps I would have more Beyonce portraits in my place than he would.

That’s actually a good example, the Beyonce portraits: I told my partner that I wanted one and his response was, “Okay, but we also need to have Jay Z up there.” I can work with that! That’s what I mean, it wasn’t hard to incorporate both of our styles.

NIH: What advice would you give to couples considering moving in together?

LK: You just have to know that it’s a huge responsibility and you have to be ready. Like, if you’re not ready to adult just yet, I wouldn’t suggest doing it. Adulting will hit you hard.

There are perks, lots of perks. But you have to work hard to enjoy these perks. Be ready to do that and know that it will all be worth it. 

Lots to consider for couples considering taking this step! Thanks again for your honesty, Lisa! Look out for the next instalment, where a couple gets candid about the highs and lows of living together. And if you’re looking for a new condo to purchase with your partner, start your search on Newinhomes.com!